“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to test all of you as a farmer sifts his wheat. I have prayed that you will not lose your faith! Help your brothers be stronger when you come back to me.” Luke 22:31-32
I’ve had my face in the mud this past week…or mud on my face. Literally. Satan’s had his way with me, sifting me like wheat. And I haven’t been on my knees while praying. Oh no. I’ve been face down on the floor, begging for mercy.
I ended up drinking again and decided to go through detox for five days at a treatment center. This is something I hope to never do again. It’s a bit of hell on earth.
This morning I cried out to God, and He’s been good to remind me of what I haven’t lost, no matter how bad things get. Him! He’s been with me, even though I didn’t feel His presence the whole time. I know He never left my side.
Yesterday, He got me home safely, as I drove four hours through the most beautiful parts of Texas…past so many wineries, breweries and liquor stores I finally lost count.
I’m relieved to be home again, in the home He’s provided for me, even though I only got three hours of sleep last night due to anxiety and fibromyalgia pain. At least I had my passive exerciser to get my blood circulating, an Epson salt bath, a warm robe, and the most comfortable bed on the planet. Plus, I didn’t wake up with crickets all over my floor or one staring me in the face on my pillow, like the morning before.
Thank the Lord He hasn’t kept the ending to things a secret. If I focus on this during these trials, how can I not weep for joy, knowing eternity awaits and this suffering is for His good in me?
“Satan does nothing outside of God’s domain, and God uses Satan to advance the cause of his kingdom.” Max Lucado “When Christ Comes”
