Journeys Meant to Share

As I mentioned in a previous blog, I recently had a relapse with alcohol after a year and a half of sobriety and ended up going through detox for five days at a treatment center. This is something I never, ever want to have to do again. It’s hell on earth for the most part. The doctor’s explanation as to why he thinks it happened blew me away.

The culprits most likely - two habit-forming drugs (Klonopin for anxiety and Tramadol for pain), which caused the dopamine levels in my brain to rise to the pleasure point of making my brain believe I’d already started drinking before I actually had. Fascinating. I realize I’m the one who purchased the alcohol, and I take responsibility for that. It’s just that drinking again wasn’t ever an option before I started taking these two drugs. And it didn’t feel like a choice, even though it was. The decision resembled a dream more than anything else.

I wanted to post this as a caveat to those who are struggling with addiction or might know someone who is – that Klonopin or Clonozapam is highly addictive and unsafe for drunks like me to use. The doctor who continued the prescription was unaware of this, and so was her nursing staff.

As unfortunate as it is that the relapse occurred, I believe God has many purposes for it that He’s using. I trust Him to bring me out of yet another ditch I’ve dug. Thank goodness God corrected the problem so quickly. A dear friend reminded me this is because He cares. I also believe that despite all the second-guessing I’ve done as to whether or not to write about drinking, a journey is meant to be shared with others.