The Past Doesn't Matter

I can’t resist sharing some excerpts from a daily devotional by Jerry Jenkins (co-author of the “Left Behind” series). My mom read it to me yesterday, and I think it perfectly describes where I’m at in life right now and where I’m headed. Maybe someone out there feels the same way if you’re in a dark place today or have been recently.

One verse a friend gave me last year that sums up the quotes below is:

 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.” Isaiah 43:18.

So far, there is nothing in the Bible that I’ve read, especially in the Psalms that God didn’t write knowing that His people back then would experience the EXACT same things we experience today.

The Bible is the most brilliant, thought provoking, honest and inspiring book that exists if we take the time to delve into it and ask God what he wants to teach us. I love it when I’ve read a passage many times before, and then I’m led to read it again, and it speaks to me in the boldest of ways. That’s how God speaks to my heart. Sometimes it hurts, and I don’t want to face the truth.

Excerpts begin here from the devotional written by Jenkins, called “Taking Hold of Eternity”:

“…always remember that your future is more important than your past. Where you are going matters more than where you have been. What you do from this day forward means much more than what you have already done. You may be affected by your past, but you are not defined by it. Not in the eyes of God.

…Don’t allow yourself to forget what God has done. Don’t let your mind stray from thoughts of heaven.

When you live in the light of eternity, it changes everything. It changes the way you think and act and believe. You no longer see yourself as an aimless being living day to day. You know that you are a child of destiny, awaiting a glorious throne to come….You no longer believe that what you do doesn’t make a difference. You believe that every second and every decision makes an eternal impact on the world, as well as your destiny in heaven. You live as a child of the future, not as a slave to the past.

…God doesn’t care what you’ve done or where you’ve been. He only cares about where you plan to end up.”

“Hold tightly to the eternal life that God has given you.” 1 Timothy 6:12

Postcards from Lucifer

Every once in a while when I’m

Facing one of life’s moral dilemmas

Of right versus wrong

I get a postcard from Lucifer

Saying, “sure wish you were here,”

The days are filled with laughter,

And overflowing with beer,

No worries and nothing to fear.

It’s the easy life

So forget your Christian convictions

Let go of the unnecessary strife

With all the “restrictions”

Come indulge yourself in life’s

Abundant pleasures

Come experience what I have to offer,

And I’ll give you all of life’s treasures.”

And for a moment, it’s tempting.

After all – it is the road most often taken,

But then I recognize Satan’s

Sly whispers

Which reminds me how I will be forsaken     

For Lucifer’s postcard promises

Are empty and filled with deception

So I respond promptly with my

Letter of resignation

The Lord, my God, has changed

My sinful desires

Giving me a new heart, a new start

And that is where my soul retires

With Him my future vacation

Has security

It’s not the falsity of the mirage

In the desert masqued

By obscurity

So now whenever Lucifer sends

Me postcards

In an effort to hinder

I send them back with a big

Red stamp that reads

“Wrong address. Return to sender!”

Wake Me Up Again

Sometimes love whispers in your ear,

And it’s not really love.

It’s something that wakes you up,

But not necessarily gets you up.

Is it a dream,

Or is it a reality?

Can’t help but being an artist of life.

What did God put us here for?

To love one another,

Which is impossible to do

Unless we’ve walked

In one another’s shoes.

And to think our Jesus

Walked in each of our shoes already…

Way before we knew what to feel.

Way before we knew what was real.

Stay Close

Stay Close

By Melissa Wren

It’s at these times when God is

As near as the next tear

That falls from my tired eyes

I’ve tried to follow your commands

Attempting to keep the pace

Hoping to meet your expectations

When I finish the race

When I’ve given up

Stay close

When I self-destruct

Stay close

I long to feel your flesh

The touch of your hand

On my skin, even if by obligation

Reminding me of your human temptations

Can I curl up in your arms

The rest of this life

Fall asleep

Until I wake up as your wife?

As much as I fail

Give in to the things

I don’t want to do

I believe you still love me

Which should be enough

You’re a God of compassion

Of reckless, regardless empathy

When I’ve given up

Stay close

When I self-destruct

Stay close

The days get longer

Hiding from fear

Losing ground on my purpose

Wishing I could disappear

Wanting desperately to know you’re near

You know I’m flawed

My heart so repulsively sick

I lay down in my own filth

So terribly yet justly tragic

But your plans are not to harm

Why do I fight to surrender?

I know you will disarm

With gentleness, grace so tender

You keep taking me back

Despite my willingness to

Distract from the lessons

I refuse to see

When I’ve given up

Stay close

When I self-destruct

Stay close

Not Just Another Love Letter

Not Just Another Love Letter

By: Melissa Wren

Why don’t you realize darling

You’re all that I need,

Come to me broken

I’ll understand

How hard it is not being able to

Do it in your own strength

That’s why I love you,

You try at your own demise

But I gladly kiss the tears

from your drowning eyes

We are one – God gave us two roles

Why must you try to do mine?

You’re my love, my laughter

My greatest masterpiece

A chandelier showcasing a ballroom

Or a sequence on an accessory piece

To me you shine the brightest

When you’re not pretending

to be someone else

you never see the true beauty in the

cracks that shine through the natural light

I delight in your company,

So simply uniquely complicated

But always quick on your feet

You try and find an enduring way

To be sophisticated.

When I go to grab your hand,

Away from me I wish you wouldn’t pull

Knowing someday, we’ll be together forever

I can hardly wait for that day

Because I’m nobody’s fool.

If ever there were a reason for me to exist

I’m sure you are it

You need my assistance,

And though I get your resistance

I’m confident in the consistent way I persist

One day soon I’ll sweep you 

Deep into my arms

You’ll finally look into my eyes

We will melt into one

Don’t ever be afraid my beautiful bride

It’s me

But when I take the seat beside our Father,

Know that I’m still yours,

And I’ll pick you up when you fall to your feet.

*Isn’t it a comfort to know that this is how Jesus looks at each one of us? This hasn’t been the easiest of seasons of life for a while now, and I hope it has been for you. God gave me words that overflowed out of my heart today, and for that I’m so thankful. I love my friends and family and hope you’re doing well. Love you, Melissa

Great Expectations

What in the world do I have to complain about? When I sit down and make a gratitude list, I can easily fill pages of blessings that God’s given me. So why do I get disappointed when things don’t go my way? Because I’m self-centered. Because my needs aren’t met. Because I don’t get the result I fantasize about in my mind. Because I invest more faith in men than trusting God. And perhaps because my expectations are too great.

Not getting what I think I want always comes back to selfishness and the need to revise and manage my expectations. I’m reminded that I need to evaluate my insecurities, as well as my role in contributing to the desired or undesired result. How did my actions and unrealistic expectations create a flow of misinterpretations to my brain?

I’m not suggesting that I shouldn’t ever have expectations about an event or a family gathering or a friendship or relationship or job or whatever it might be. I’m merely saying I need to understand how much “self” influences the reality of the situation and realize the world doesn’t revolve around me and my every desire. My focus should be on pleasing and honoring God and putting others first.

If I were to care more about how another person’s needs might be fulfilled, how to make their day, and how to pour my love out to them, I imagine that my own “Great Expectations” would no longer seem that important. I’ve seen God demonstrate His greatness in mind-blowing ways that have nothing to do with expectations I’ve created. I just have to put self aside and allow Him to do His work in me.

Put the Past to Rest

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.” Isaiah 43:18

Have you done things in your life that you still feel guilty about? Things you haven’t been able to let go even though you’ve turned them over to God.

If I’m ashamed of something, I know that I’m not going to be able to accept God’s best for me if I don’t take Him at His word when He says He’s forgiven me for something after I’ve asked Him to. He’s constantly refining me with fire, carving away at all the nonsense in my life to make me more like Christ.

Therefore, I must move on after I’ve laid things on the table for Him to take away. I can’t rely on my “feelings” or else I’ll never “feel” forgiven. I have to trust that I am because He says so. And God doesn’t lie.

God slowly reveals Himself to me during my trials and in times of pain. It’s as if He doesn’t want to overwhelm me with all that He is at one time, and so He lets me in on a little at a time, making me long for more.

The past is the past. It’s a part of who I am, and I’m thankful for it because it’s brought me closer to Christ and given me a relationship with Him I never knew was possible. The past makes me completely dependent on the Lord. The past causes me to be passionate about the present. And now when the past pays me a visit – because it’s been put to rest – it’s enlightening and exciting. It means God is up to something good.

Hard to Love?

“If people say, ‘I love God,’ but hate their brothers or sisters, they are liars. Those who do not love their brothers and sisters, whom they have seen cannot love God whom they have never seen.’” 1 John 4:20

Are you hard to love or do you find it hard to love someone you’re not even sure you like? Recently I read the book of Hosea in the Bible where God commands Hosea to go and marry an unfaithful woman and love her. Hosea, the profit, obeys and marries Gomer, who is adulterous. His story parallels God’s unrelenting relationship with Israel. It also made me realize how much He loves me.

Therefore, I must love and forgive people, even if the feelings don’t always exist because that’s what God commands me to do. If Hosea can find a way to love his wife who was a prostitute and made him look like a fool, then surely I can love another person who isn’t as close to me as a spouse.

And if God can love me after all the times I’ve run away from Him, gone my own way and sinned against Him, then surely I can get it through my head that I can love anyone, no matter what they’ve done or how much I feel they’ve offended me. It’s that simple.

The best part of Hosea’s story is how he takes Gomer the prostitute back into his loving arms. God has done the same for me. He’s wooed me back when I don’t deserve it. That’s love. I want to know this kind of love, and I know I can through Him.

He made a promise to Israel and said, “So I am going to attract her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and I will make the Valley of Trouble a door of hope.”    Hosea 2:14-15

This touches my heart so deeply. God is tender and sweet. Merciful and full of grace.

Finish the Race

“Let us lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely, and run with endurance the race that is set before us.” Hebrews 12:1

When I’m in chronic pain, whether it be physical and/or emotional, I have a choice in how I’m going to respond. I can react in a way that pleases and glorifies God or I can behave selfishly and throw myself a pity party. I’ve certainly done the latter more times than I’d like to admit because it’s hard, and I’ve chosen not to focus on God’s purposes in it.

Currently I’m ashamed to say that I’ve allowed the reality of dealing with four distinct illnesses to overwhelm me. It’s easy to want to give up; the hard thing is to choose to continue to fight with the strength God gives me each day. I’ve discovered that every day is a new day, meaning my circumstances are usually challenging in different ways, and if I don’t force myself to thank God for all He’s given me and for what I do have, then Satan gets a foothold.

I probably wouldn’t trade all the “problems” I think I have with another’s because my list of blessings far outweighs them. What do I really have to complain about? Nothing. I’m reminded of Jesus and everything he suffered and know He understands. He literally took on the weight of the world and died for me for all the mistakes I’ve made in my life so that I can spend eternity with Him. I’m so undeserving, and yet He loves me just the way I am. How can I possibly let pain get the best of me?

“Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or faint hearted.” Hebrews 12:3

Poem: Your Storehouses of Snow

Open your storehouses of snow,                                                     Let it come down                                                                            Over my sins                                                                                   Cover the filth below.

You lay a blanket across the ground                                                   Of my dark and painful past,                                                          When it melts, I am clean                                                                   of sins never meant to last.

The pure white washes my sins away

setting me free 

of memories of yesterday

locked inside of me.

Open your storehouses of snow,

Let it come down,

Over my sins

Help me let go

You are the majestic, white quilt

That comforts me in the storm.

I live in the temple you built,

Wrapped in your arms, safe and warm.

I’ve been so lost,

Deceived with lies,

I’ve paid the cost,

Because of compromise.

Open your storehouses of snow,

Let it come down

Around us as we dance

A second chance

In the newness of your

forgiveness I now know.

Journeys Meant to Share

As I mentioned in a previous blog, I recently had a relapse with alcohol after a year and a half of sobriety and ended up going through detox for five days at a treatment center. This is something I never, ever want to have to do again. It’s hell on earth for the most part. The doctor’s explanation as to why he thinks it happened blew me away.

The culprits most likely - two habit-forming drugs (Klonopin for anxiety and Tramadol for pain), which caused the dopamine levels in my brain to rise to the pleasure point of making my brain believe I’d already started drinking before I actually had. Fascinating. I realize I’m the one who purchased the alcohol, and I take responsibility for that. It’s just that drinking again wasn’t ever an option before I started taking these two drugs. And it didn’t feel like a choice, even though it was. The decision resembled a dream more than anything else.

I wanted to post this as a caveat to those who are struggling with addiction or might know someone who is – that Klonopin or Clonozapam is highly addictive and unsafe for drunks like me to use. The doctor who continued the prescription was unaware of this, and so was her nursing staff.

As unfortunate as it is that the relapse occurred, I believe God has many purposes for it that He’s using. I trust Him to bring me out of yet another ditch I’ve dug. Thank goodness God corrected the problem so quickly. A dear friend reminded me this is because He cares. I also believe that despite all the second-guessing I’ve done as to whether or not to write about drinking, a journey is meant to be shared with others.

Days Like These

I’ve been caught in my joy twice this past week. Once while I’m on the way back from Ft. Worth by a good looking man in a convertible and once on my way to church in Glen Rose by the police.

I’m driving south on 377, having a Jerry McGuire moment, like the one he had when he’s in the car singing “I’m Free” after just signing Cush. Except I’m belting out, “Deliver Me” by Bethany Dillon. I must have hit repeat at least three times before I realize there’s a guy with his top down too, right behind my car. And he’s smiling. Big time. I can’t figure out if he thinks I smiled at him first, but I decide he must have been tailing me for some time. It’s funny. I laugh.

We coast past Up-A-Creek Liquors, which makes for humble irony. It wasn’t hard to resist the damaged goods that awaited inside. I would certainly be up a creek if I stopped. The guy in the convertible finally turns off at the Last-Chance-Fina gas station, headed for Acton.

Then, different song, new day. Once again, it’s a sing-in-your-shower-and-car kind of day…and I’m off to church. Now I’m singing “Get Up And Walk” by the same artist when I suddenly look up to see the flashing lights of a police vehicle. Turns out my registration sticker expired in August, I don’t have my current proof of insurance with me, and I’m speeding.

Thank you Officer Nick for your forgiveness. I will try my best to “pay it forward.” I’m hoping my joy rubbed off on him.

What kind of joy are you caught in today? Hope it makes your heart sing.

Sorrow = Victory

“Those who sow in tears will reap with shouts of joy. Though one goes along weeping, carrying the bag of seed, he will surely come back with shouts of joy, carrying his sheaves.” Psalm 126:5-6

I’ve noticed that many times right after I experience perhaps the greatest victory in my life, immediately after falls the greatest sorrow. Could it be that success is made of the same substance as failure? I think so since failure can also be considered success. If this is true, then suffering can equal victory.

One example of this is when my dad died. It was a huge loss, but I felt relieved because he wasn’t suffering any more. And I knew he was in heaven, which is a victory, but at the same time a sorrow overwhelmed me when I realized I’d be separated from him. These two extreme emotions and states of mind almost collided because they were so close to each other. Instead, one replaced the other.

Another example of significant loss was a boyfriend four years ago. After he left, God gave me a season of incredible might, followed by another season of loss. I am strongest at my weakest in God’s strength.

The two forces are identical in nature and power. One minute I’m experiencing the best thing that’s ever happened to me and the next, the worst. Why is that? I see it everywhere when I look for it. The two are a mirror image.

Since this has proven true in the past, then I can be assured when I feel terrific sorrow now that terrific joy is right around the corner. Because any time there’s an ending, there has to be a beginning.

Poem: Remain in Me

Into You I run

Sweet surrenderance

I throw myself

Escaping into romance

The funny ways you love me

That make it undeniably you

Your spirit so steady,

So unbelievably true

Into you I run

Weeping, weeping

Tears of pure joy

Words colliding

In trying to describe

I feel your breath

Smiling upon my face

The sunshine of

Your soft embrace

Pursuing me

That’s what you do,

Rocking me gently in a hug

Like a homemade quilt

Instantly erasing

The shame

The guilt

Into You I run

Into You I fall

Into You I am

Into You I’m all

Showering me with your spirit

Your overwhelming inspiration

Making my soul sing

In anticipation of the

drink of water tomorrow

promises to bring

Your words ring true,

Remain in Me,

And I’ll remain in you

Poem: Mysterious Ways

God Moves in a Mysterious Way

By William Cowper in 1767

God moves in a mysterious way

His wonders to perform;

He plants his footsteps in the sea

And rides upon the storm.

Deep in unfathomable mines

Of never failing skill

He treasures up his bright designs

And works his sovereign will.

You fearful saints, fresh courage take;

The clouds you so much dread

Are big with mercy and shall break

In blessings on your head.

His purposes will ripen fast,

Unfolding every hour;

The bud may have a bitter taste,

But sweet will be the flower.

Blind unbelief is sure to err

And scan his work in vain;

God is his own interpreter,

And he will make it plain.

A Prayer for Today: Yours I'm All

Dear Lord,

Thank you for waking me to thoughts of you. Slept like a butterfly in a cocoon. You take no chances on answering my prayers for watchful rest. I’m so relaxed; I feel your weight upon my chest. I can barely walk this morning and wonder if it’s really the flu this time or just the herxheimer reaction to the IV and injection. A reply from you so sublime. No matter – I’m surrounded by you and sense your heart on top of mine, embodying my spirit so heavily I’m sedated, longing to be fruit on your vine.

Can I stay like this forever, wrapped in your arms, safe in my suffering? Even though I have your love, I long for you. Even more. Hold me closer, closer, closer than before. Never let me go. Keep my soul in your space. Please don’t ever let it stray again, far from you in my remorseful sin.

Won’t you continue to deliver me all over again today? Deliver me Jesus. Deliver me. Your hands of mercy set me free. Thanks be to you for showering me with the power of prayer yesterday. All day I felt your immeasurable greatness upon my beating heart, your sacrifice too heavy from the start.

You made me feel beautiful, despite the filth that I am. You made me soar on the wings of eagles, not letting my foot slip, even as temptations lured longingly after my reactions. How can I not tell the world about your love? You make it so real, so surreal, and so unique.

I’m excited for the drink of water that’s the promise of today. Looking forward to the women’s Bible study headed my way. Be a part of every thought I am and have, keeping me captive to your ways. I will cherish your romance the rest of my days. Please give me your strength and courage to overcome the flaws that overwhelm me. Rescue me from my self-destructive tendencies.

Only you, Lord. You’re all I need, my portion forever and ever. The smoothness of your affection runs like a river inside of me. You make me remember that my weaknesses are your strength, and you’ll go to any length to stay with me. Forgive my deafness. Forgive my inability to see you reaching out, wooing me closer. You are too much. Today you help me get up and walk. I’m so thankful I’m at home with you. I’m so completely in love with you. Yours…I’m all. I’m all yours.

God's Domain

“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to test all of you as a farmer sifts his wheat. I have prayed that you will not lose your faith! Help your brothers be stronger when you come back to me.” Luke 22:31-32

I’ve had my face in the mud this past week…or mud on my face. Literally. Satan’s had his way with me, sifting me like wheat.  And I haven’t been on my knees while praying. Oh no. I’ve been face down on the floor, begging for mercy.

I ended up drinking again and decided to go through detox for five days at a treatment center. This is something I hope to never do again. It’s a bit of hell on earth.

This morning I cried out to God, and He’s been good to remind me of what I haven’t lost, no matter how bad things get. Him! He’s been with me, even though I didn’t feel His presence the whole time. I know He never left my side.

Yesterday, He got me home safely, as I drove four hours through the most beautiful parts of Texas…past so many wineries, breweries and liquor stores I finally lost count.

I’m relieved to be home again, in the home He’s provided for me, even though I only got three hours of sleep last night due to anxiety and fibromyalgia pain. At least I had my passive exerciser to get my blood circulating, an Epson salt bath, a warm robe, and the most comfortable bed on the planet. Plus, I didn’t wake up with crickets all over my floor or one staring me in the face on my pillow, like the morning before.

Thank the Lord He hasn’t kept the ending to things a secret. If I focus on this during these trials, how can I not weep for joy, knowing eternity awaits and this suffering is for His good in me?

“Satan does nothing outside of God’s domain, and God uses Satan to advance the cause of his kingdom.” Max Lucado “When Christ Comes”

The Power of Pain

THE POWER OF PAIN
OUR FATHER KNOWS WHAT'S BEST FOR US,

SO WHY SHOULD WE COMPLAIN?
WE ALWAYS WANT THE SUNSHINE,

BUT HE KNOWS THERE MUST BE RAIN.

WE LOVE THE SOUND OF LAUGHTER AND THE

MERRIMENT OF CHEER,

BUT OUR HEARTS WOULD LOSE THEIR

TENDERNESS IF WE NEVER SHED  A TEAR.
FOR GROWING TREES ARE STRENGHTENED

WHEN THEY WITHSTAND THE STORM,

AND THE SHARP CUT OF THE CHISEL

GIVES THE DIAMOND GRACE AND FORM.

GOD NEVER HURTS US NEEDLESSLY,

AND HE NEVER WASTES OUR PAIN,

FOR EVERY LOSS HE SENDS TO US

IS FOLLOWED BY RICH GAIN.

AND WHEN WE COUNT THE BLESSINGS

THAT GOD SO FREELY SENT,

WE'LL FIND NO CAUSE FOR MURMURING,

AND NO TIME TO LAMENT.

FOR OUR FATHER LOVES HIS CHILDREN,

AND TO HIM ALL THINGS ARE PLAIN,

SO HE NEVER SENDS US PLEASURE

WHEN THE SOUL'S DEEP NEED IS PAIN.

SO WHENEVER WE ARE TROUBLED,

AND WHEN EVERYTHING GOES WRONG,

WE KNOW GOD'S WORKING IN OUR HEARTS,

TO MAKE OUR SPIRIT STRONG!!!

Author unknown

A Prayer for Idolization

Lord, I don’t know what to do.

I believed you had delivered me

that I’d never do it again

but here I am, in the depths of sin.

How did this happen?

I thought I was free

Of the chains that bound

so tightly around me

I made a mistake,

Which I know you’ll forgive.

The problem is I’m human and tired

My patience, expired.

What is it you want to teach me?

I’m willing to grow and learn

I’m trying to use your strength

A traveler on this earth, I now sojourn

I didn’t mean to shut you out,

I longed for relief from frustration

over a battle I need not fight

I fell weak in desperation

And missed the path you tried to light

I need your help,

I don’t want to go down this road again.

I won’t survive in my own strength

Please provide your grace and mercy

That’s end has no length

I don’t want to run from you,

I know you’re here with me

That is my belief,

Through the chronic pain I feel,

You will comfort me with relief

You will guard me and protect me

You will keep me under your wing

Even though I’m weak and fail

It’s your praises I continue to sing

I desire you’re best for my life

Knowing you do out of necessacity

Replacing joy and comfort when  

What’s needed is strife.

Your thoughts are not mine,

To your will I do resign

You have my heart

And I know you’re on my side

Please give me a fresh start

Still Able to Fall?

“If you think you are strong, you should be careful not to fall.” 1 Corinthians 10:12

I made a mistake. After a year and a half of sobriety, I failed. I did not plan to leave my house at 8:45 pm to buy a bottle of Grey Goose vodka and cheap French champagne. I’m still in shock I allowed myself to do it. I only made a small dent in the vodka, the champagne going untouched because a friend came by and took it away.

It never crossed my mind to drink until the afternoon when I returned home after traveling three days to and from south Texas for my grandmother’s funeral (nine hours both ways). I felt victorious in God’s strength to resist the temptation to drink. I drove past many liquor stores on the way back from a doctor visit, praying for the strength not to go in...believing there was no way God would let me. But ultimately, the choice was mine, and I made a poor one.

I’ve never really needed a reason to drink. I knew better. And the fact remains there is no explanation good enough to take a drink if you’re a drunk. No amount of family drama or a death in the family or physical pain or emotional turmoil justifies drinking. Especially if you’ve spent 14 years of your life consuming an obscene amount of wine and a painful 18 months in recovery trying to get your life back. 

After I stopped on April 4, 2009, I didn’t think I’d ever drink again. I refuse to waste time feeling sorry for myself, beating myself up and believing the lie that Satan would love me to accept – that all hope is lost.

Recently I read an outstanding book called, “The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life,” by Hannah Whitall Smith. This is what she had to say about failures:

“A sudden failure is no reason for being discouraged and giving up all as lost.”

Saying I’ll never drink again is as foolish as saying I’ll never sin again. It still remains a day-to-day battle. I trust God has a purpose for it, and I will continue to learn and grow from this experience.

Struggling with Sin

In Romans 7:15-19 Paul expresses something I think most of us can relate to.

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do – this I keep on doing.”

Many times I’ve wanted to quit doing something I know isn’t right or good for me, and yet I keep on doing it. How can this be if I say I want God’s best for me?

It’s called sanctification, a process by which God makes us more like Himself by renewing His image in us.

“We are not preaching a state, but a walk. The highway of holiness is not a place, but a way. Sanctification is not a thing to be picked up at a certain state of our experience and forever after possessed, but it is a life to be lived day by day and hour by hour.” Hannah Whitall Smith

God has given Christians the power to break free from the temptations of sin. His will is for us is to be conformed to the image of His son, who He sent to take the fall for all the times I do what Paul did – and do the things I do not want to do, even when I know better.

“It is a life and walk of faith we have entered upon; and if we fail in it, our only recovery must lie in an increase of faith, not in a lessoning of it.” Hannah Whitall Smith